Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Neighbor From Hades

I think we can all relate to having a freaky neighbor, but I think that we win the prize for "The Ultimate Neighbor From Hades". Seriously. The guy's a freak! When we first came out to see the property, J.R. (that's the freak's name), comes by to tell us what is wrong with all the surrounding neighbors and the owners. We were put off by all the horrible claims, but something told us he was a bit on the "mental" side and to dismiss it. Okay, a bit weird, but whatever.

Fast forward to Grammie's official moving day... He comes over the morning we begin unloading the truck and really busts his bum to help us out. A bit too much, actually. We've got the whole thing unloaded with his help, the kids, mom, Dan, and I in 3 hours. Cool! Except J.R. does NOT go away when its all unloaded. He continues to follow us around, talking his head off, while we attempt to sort through and unpack. Odd. When he finally does go, with Dan's pushing, he comes back immediately to bring us lunch. Nice. Ish. And comes back yet again to bring MORE food and talk our ears off again before the day is through. Hmmm. Maybe he is really lonely.

Thank heavens he has to leave town for Christmas and is gone a few days. As soon as he is back, he is on our property again and again. It just becomes pesty.

Most of us leave to go back to Texas and Grammie and my eldest, Dallin are here to stay. And here is J.R. over ALL the time to "help" out. He is constantly bringing over gifts or going through the barn or whatever he wants to do. Just an absolute nuisance. It gets to the point where Grammie is actually afraid of him. He constantly just walks right in the house if the front door is unlocked. Okay, that's locked. Now he is checking all the doors to find one open, inviting himself in and yelling, "Your door is unlocked!". Creepy!

But that's not all...

He keeps begging my mom to go to lunch with him while Dallin is at school. My mom has a hard time being "mean" with people, so eventually she agrees. She tells him to come back in an hour, so she can shower. One hour later, he shows up in a suit, reeking of cologne. And he's brought his Corvette to take her to town in style. Of course, he takes the longest route to town, a good half hour away on some seriously country (and deserted) roads. They have an uncomfortable lunch of fillet Mignon, discussing such topics as his money and other "attributes". On the way home, Grammie tells him that she will not EVER marry anyone that is not a member in good standing, and never ANYWHERE but the Temple. He lets her know he is a member of the Community of Christ (used to be called RLDS) and he is sure he could take her to the Temple. Nice.

To top it all off, he invites her inside his home to show her his arrow head collection. "Its just inside the door", he tells her. First off, its not just inside his door. Its in his bedroom. At the back of the house. In a safe. Full of guns. As she excuses herself and leaved abruptly, she notices that his house is on a slight hill. He basically can see EVERYTHING we do here, front yard and back. Scary!

Since that time he has continued to pester and frighten my mom.

Fast forward to Our moving day... We have some really sweet friends from our new Branch come by to help us out. Naturally that means our "old pal" needs to come by and help. He terrorizes everyone with his "get outta my way" and "move it, kid". Finally, he tells Dallin that he is gonna take him out back and beat him with a belt if he doesn't stay out of his way. Momma bear attack! I told him to NEVER speak to my kids like that again. He fights back. I tell him to leave. He huffs off and goes. Good riddance.

Except its not over. He comes back hours later to tearfully apologize. I am diabetic and my blow sugar had crashed. Okay, I've had Gestational Diabetes before. I know how badly you can feel. I accept his apology.

Now he thinks we are the best of friends. He keeps coming by to offer help with cutting limbs and clearing away debris. Or brings over movies for the kids or treats, like chocolate candy or cupcakes.

Then a few days ago, he comes over to let me know about ticks and chiggers. I assured him that I already know about them, thanks (now go away!). He comes back a few minutes later, because mom and I have started clearing out our gardens. When I tell him that we can do it ourselves and we wanted this to be a "family project" he refuses. I basically had to tell him, in my nicest tone, that he is being rude and pushy and I do NOT want his help AT ALL. He gets all irate and tells me I am "snotty".

Okay, so I am snotty. I'd rather be snotty and ALIVE, than see what that psycho will dish out. I am seriously scared of him. the Spirit leaves when he arrives. We are all afraid of him (except Dan, but he's not here). He told us a few weeks back that he plans to move soon. GOOD RIDDANCE!

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